Final marks

I just checked and I have all of my marks now. I’ll be graduating next month with a Bachelor of Arts in History (First Class Honours) with a minor in Italian Literature and Language.

It’ll be the most expensive piece of paper I’ve ever bought. To be fair, it’s more than just a piece of paper, though. I’ve learned a lot over the past five years here–and not just in class, obviously.

I still don’t want to leave Montréal, but I know that the time has come. I keep bargaining with myself, telling myself that it doesn’t make sense for me to stay here right now–and I know that’s true, it doesn’t make sense. I just hate uncertainty. As I keep quoting the Scissor Sisters, ‘There’s no indication of what we were meant to be. Sucking up to strangers, throwing wishes to the sea.’

I’ll be close enough to the sea to spit at it, never mind throw wishes to it, in less than a month.

I still don’t know exactly when I’m moving nor even how I’m going to physically move my stuff. I’ll figure something out. I always seem to.

I haven’t listened to this song in a while, but it popped into my head just now and seems appropriate.

Long Way to Run by Collective Soul

Are these times contagious
I’ve never been this bored before
Is this the prize I’ve waited for
Now with the hours passing
There’s nothing left here to insure
I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run

Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
Now, in this world of purchase
I’m going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities

Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run
Yeah, I run

Have I got a long way
Have I got a long way
Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run

Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)

As a final thought, the opening line of the Port Huron Statement, published in 1962 by Students for a Democratic Society, also rings painfully true for me right now–and I hope for the thousands of others who are graduating this spring.

‘We are people of this generation, bred in at least modest comfort, housed now in universities, looking uncomfortably to the world we inherit.’

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