Tomorrow is Independence Day! I’m sure that must meen that the evil terrorists want to attack our land even more! Why haven’t they raised the terror alert? Have they forgotten about it? Are they concerned about the mass panic it might provoke? What if an attack comes tomorrow and they haven’t raised the alert, then what? People will be going about in their yellow-coded lives, and then *bam* nuclear holocaust. But if the terror alert were raised, people would be more vigilant and become more suspicious and maybe a potential attack might be stopped. Plus then the people would know that the government really was working to protect their best interests and that this wasn’t all just a scam to generate mass fear and attempt to spur consumer spending. And then if an attack came and the alert level had been raised, the Dear Leader would be vindicated in all that he has struggled for in the past four years. And his approval ratings would soar like the eagle of American freedom and democracy out of the depths where they are now. And he would have no problems implimenting the rest of his crazy agenda over the next two years. And we would all link hands and sing his praise once we realised that he truly is the greatest president since Ronald Reagan.
Plus, I’d get to have an orange dancing banana on my blog!