Hypothetical situation. They always are. You have a friend who is going through a divorce–essentially. She’s still living at home but has moved into the second bedroom. Her (ex-) wife has correctly deduced that there must be someone else to have acted as the catalyst to the breakup, although it had been coming for a while. However, she doesn’t know for sure. You all have mutual friends in town who want to get together a big ol’ dinner party with lots of good food and wine. How do you politely tell your friend that you’re just not comfortable yet with cooking dinner with the new girl? You have nothing against the new girl, mind you, you’ve just not reached the comfort level of spending an evening in the company of friends with her (never mind the requisite pre-meal menu planning and shopping if you two are to cook together) while the (ex-) wife is clueless as to the situation.
As for my thought, it’s a relatively new one that is still in its formative stages in my mind. But I wanted to throw it out there all the same even in its half-formed version.
It is this: I don’t think I could date someone as intellectual as I am. He needs to be intelligent for sure. If he’s as intelligent as me, I think that’s best (that sounds somewhat conceited, I realise, but I don’t like to feel that I’m talking to a rock). But, at the same time, I don’t think I could date another historian, the more I think about it. Or another academic. I was discussing this with my roommate last night and she asked if maybe it was because I feel the need always to have the upper hand and always to have the right answer. I don’t really think that’s it. I think it’s more that I need someone to balance me out, to keep me from getting to absorbed by my books.
This is probably why I found the hair dresser that I had a date with on Friday oh-so-interesting. He was clearly my intelligence equal, but knows nothing about British history. We had great and stimulating conversation (yes, stimulating conversation. You’re all sick and always have your minds in the gutter! But, for the record, he’s stimulating in other ways too. 😉 ).
At the same time, there’s this other fellow whom I’ve been talking to a lot recently. I’m still trying to figure out if this is just a developing friendship…or something more. He’s incredibly brilliant and very intellectual. We’ve talked about things from politics to queer theory to post-colonialism. All great conversation. Yet the more I get to know him, it seems, the less attractive he becomes. He’s still very attractive, to be sure, and if he were to ask me out on a date, I don’t know that I would necessarily turn him down. But…I dunno.
Happy All Saints’ Day, if you’re into that sort of thing. And Happy post-Hallowe’en. I hope no one is in a sugar coma.
It’s November. Where the hell did the year go?!